Temptation
Cloud covering sky,
Gentle rain,
Cool breeze,
Fragrance of earth,
Singing heart
And you!
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Or
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Cloud covering sky,
Gentle rain,
Cool breeze,
Fragrance of earth,
You
And …heart sings!
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Choose the one you like!
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Submitted for Poetry Jam, Prompt : Temptation
16 comments:
Romantic!
Indeed the second one;
With Love, even a barren land is Heaven for the heart to sing...
I like the second one :-)
Happy sunday ~
nice...either one works...love the smell of earth esp after a rain storm...nice natural elements...
The second - there's more temptation! LOL
I prefer the second where there is not a pause at the end. You would think that the ellipse causes more of a break in the poem, but as I read it, it flows more naturally. The first one is the one where I stop and start up again.
I like that you printed both of them for the contrast.
Lovely! Thanks, twinkly
Second for me too.
Anna :o]
romantic,...yes!
Such beautiful music!
Heart should be singing.. that's all.. Harshadji.. beautiful..
I like the first...it makes me think of that "too good to be true" and Oh so happy feeling!
I much prefer the first one. It's more subtle.
This really made me smile! Lovely sentiment very well put! Thank you for sharing it with us!
The second one overwhelms but both provide good contrasts. Temptation can be a bane to people's wants if uncontrolled. Beautiful poetry!
Both are lovely. My preference is the first, saying it with straightforward joy.
I guess I'm the odd ball lol. I like the first better. :)
I like the first one. Guess im the oddball lol
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